Tuesday, November 01, 2005

The Alito Bowl

I don't think there are any specific qualities a President necessarily should have--besides of a vague sense of leaderliness about him--so much as there are qualities a President really shouldn't have. And Clinton's "weakness" was not one of the qualities we should be concerning ourselves with. Hillary didn't care, so why should we? Bill was allowed free reign so long as he didn't embarrass her too much; and that only happened because overestimated the human decency of the Republican attack machine. But hey, if there's a foul, and you've already killed the ref, was it really a foul?

I deny you the legitimacy of your claims against Clinton. I furthermore contend that the Republican Party's behavior towards the President of the United States of America during Clinton's tenure delegitimizes your demand that we respect the office of the Presidency, if not the sad sack of dimwitted buyers' remorse that currently occupies it.

Some people saw the aircraft carrier skit and were grateful Bush had the balls for war--but they were wrong. He had a hard-on for war. Two very different things.

George Bush did the Arsenio Hall fist pump while getting ready to announce the initiation of hostilities in Iraq. He took to war with precisely the enthusiasm of a 17 year old betting on his first NBA playoffs. You couldn't really come up with a worse trait for a president in my opinion.

What's with all the hosannas Alito's getting from the right? Honestly, why do moderates, libertarians, country clubbers and every other disenfranchised tribe in the Republican coalition want a far right loon on the court? Why is this considered a victory for the majority of Republicans who were secretly glad Bork didn't get confirmed?

I'll tell you why. Because far right intellectual activists have convinced the brighter third of conservatives that the concept of "original intent" actually exists--and that we will veer off our course of national greatness if we don't base judicial rulings on the outlandish notion that we can divine what a group of slaveowners--who weren't too up on letting women or the landless vote, either--would have done in the exact same situation if it had happened to occur 100 years before the fucking lightbulb was invented.

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